i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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