My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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