he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i out mim tonsoeep
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
