She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mom said you looked used
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
