Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
