um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
