He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am one with the molecules
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
