On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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