How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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