you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
