how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
