I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
