I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drake has all the answers
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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