So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
