But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
