Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
