Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize