It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
