I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
