He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
