A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
