also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
