I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
