I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just want nice things and good sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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