I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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