butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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