Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize