her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
