we have pet lesbian snakes
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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