My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
only you would photoshop your dick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize