i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
