Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
