and you said cock pushups were impossible
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
