I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
