What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
