I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
