I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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