um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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