YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
