It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
