You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
