Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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