HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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