i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
