very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
