I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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