I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
