So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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