the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
