Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
two words...techno handjob
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
