Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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