Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So vagazzling was a success
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
