she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
