I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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