hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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