I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
