If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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