this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
