have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
