Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
