no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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