there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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