You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
