Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
