I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
