He uses pillows to masturbate.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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