Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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