just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My life is pants optional.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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