A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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