eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
