im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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